Asking Eric: Renter and landlord at odds over utility bill responsibility

DEAR ERIC: I have rented a room in my home to a woman for the past year. Her finances are limited. I charge her $400 per month versus the going rate in my area of $1,000. Per the rental agreement, I pay two-thirds of the utility bill, and she pays one-third. She spent this past summer visiting family. When she returned, she told me she would not pay any of the utility bill for the time she was away because she “was not here”. I don’t like confrontations, so I let it go. But I find my opinion of her character has become somewhat negative. Am I wrong on this?
– Billing Inquiry
DEAR BILLING: This seems more of a communication challenge than a character issue. She should have discussed her plan with you before leaving, not after, but I can see her logic – why pay for utilities she didn’t use? Presumably the bill was lower anyway. Additionally, as you noted, her finances are tight, so she may have shifted some of the budgeted utility expense over to her travel fund.
If you want her to pay a share of the utilities no matter what, you should say so up front. Or make utilities included, since presumably most of her rent payment is profit. However, I’d caution against nickel and diming this issue. After all, your question was not about money but character, so I’m assuming the cost for the utilities you used wasn’t a hardship to you. Your time and hers would be better spent having a conversation about expectations going forward.
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DEAR ERIC: I read the column from “Invisible Dad” who felt left out of his family life. I have a suggestion. When my dad retired, he began to write a newsletter every couple of months catching up members of our extended family with what was going on in other members’ lives.
My dad would then send everyone a typewritten newsletter, but of course now it could easily be done digitally. He would call a few family members from time to time and “interview” them as to what they had been doing, etc., eliciting any news that they had that they wanted to share.
Then he would write up the interviews and mail them to each family member. He would do this periodically, rotating among members. It was a wonderful way for our far-flung family to stay in touch, so I hope this might be something that would not only brighten Invisible Dad’s life but would also help the rest of his family stay in better touch. And best of all, it would be a great way to involve him more with his family.
– All the News
DEAR ALL THE NEWS: What a wonderful gift your dad gave your family. As someone who writes a personal newsletter every week, mostly for fun, I love the way it allows me to stay connected with friends and strangers. It’s a great idea for families. I’d also suggest recording interviews with family members. I’ve found them to be invaluable documents of both history and feeling and they can be done right on your phone.
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DEAR READERS: No matter how you’re spending time this weekend, I hope you’ll take the opportunity to reach out to someone meaningful in your life, be it by phone or in person, and let them know you’re grateful for them. I’m grateful to spend this time with you every day.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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